I don't post journals often enough for you to have forgotten about this:
GAH! BLOOD! EVERYWHERE!Yesterday was a...very strange day. I woke up motivated, surprisingly, and successfully completed two exams (which weren't really exams, per se. they were really just project/portfolio reviews to appease the rest of the school departments because apparently they think art is too easy and anyone can do it and that's why no one else in the school is and so we have to fake some exams so the other students who can't think past unchanging formulas won't throw hissy fits because we spent all semester creating things out of sheer artistical genius and have tons to show for it while they can only fill in the blanks and run a scantron through a computer)...
Aaanyway. So. Yeah. I wore my glasses, and I'll be honest, I think I look pretty freakin' awesome in my glasses. I just hate them because I have to keep pushing them back up my nose (ISHIDA? MURAKI?! NUUU~!)!
Due to the amazing smexiness that is my glasses-fied face, I had one of those days. You know what I mean, right? One of those d
Well...it happened again Sunday. But this time, we had to say goodbye to Gozer. He went quick and easy with a painless little pinprick. Em and Cass were with him to say goodbye. I was visiting friends and family in GA at the time, so I didn't get to say goodbye, but I have no regrets. He knows I love him. Yes, present tense, 'cause it's still true and I believe in an afterlife, for humans and other critters alike.
Gozer was an awesome, over-sized lap dog, a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, and I will miss his massive, ugly face. Nevertheless, I feel certain that letting him go this way was best. Otherwise, we'd have been living apprehensively, always wondering when the next fight would be and whether the dogs would stick to fighting each other or if little Sadie might get caught in the middle somehow. Also, we didn't want to put him up for adoption because, well, let's be honest. The only people who would want him would be jerks who wanted to fight him. This way, we can remember him happily as the good dog he was and not heap guilt or fear or remorse onto his memory. After all, he really was a sweet dog!
Listy is still recovering. We should be able to take the head wrap off tomorrow. So many stitches... She's lethargic from the pain and pain meds, of course, so we're not sure, yet, if some of her subdued behavior might be due to missing her playmate.
Sadie keeps saying Gozer is sick and in the car 'cause that's the last she heard or saw of him. We're hoping she'll just forget about him until she's older and ready to learn more about the whole "death" thing. I mean, really...she's not even three, yet. It's better to just forget, right?
When everyone else went to bed last night, I stayed up and talked to Em for a couple hours. She's not the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, so I was rather surprised to find that she soaked mine
while crying over Gozer. She feels terrible, and I did my best to comfort her, but a death in the family is not something that you can just get over so fast or easy - nor should it be. The fact that we miss him and it hurts is proof that he was special to us.
Cass is really struggling with the loss, too, but I don't expect him to confide in me and that's fine. I think I'd break down if he
cried in front of me.
Mom is doing all right. She was the only one home when it happened, and she's still coping with being covered in blood while trying to separate the dogs again. We'd been carefully keeping the dogs separated unless we were with them, but this was one of those, "Oh, I'll run downstairs to grab something really quick and they'll be just fine," moments that you never expect to turn out so bad. I hope she doesn't feel guilty, but I'd be surprised if she didn't.
Oh, Gozer... T-T We're all gonna miss you, Little Bittle!
In other news...well, no. I don't feel like saying anything else right now. I want everyone to think about dogs and friends and family and how wonderful they are. Especially around this time of year. Especially Gozer.